My mother always says this about relationships: “you’re either going to breakup or get married”. Most of the time, outcome that happens is the breakup instead of the marriage. It’s not a surprise that breakups can be incredibly painful; you feel vulnerable, wounded, heartbroken. But you work through those feelings and after some time, you start to feel better. Maybe a few months in the moving on process, you hear from someone or see on social media that your ex has also moved on, and you start feeling those same emotions you felt when you first broke up.
Seeing your ex with someone else can stir up those hurt and angry emotions, but the key to dealing with your ex moving on is to find a healthy and positive way to do it.
First and foremost, don’t stalk your ex on social media. You really don’t have to connect with this person, so if knowing what they’re doing emotionally tortures you, then unfollow them. Cutting someone out doesn’t have to just be with social media, but also with emails, texts, calls, or however you could potentially connect with them. A kind reminder is that all this cutting out doesn’t have to be cold turkey; you can choose to cut them out as much or as little and on whatever timeline you want.
Work on creating a healthy head space. Your mental health always takes priority, and after a breakup and seeing your ex move on, you will probably feel some negative emotions. Instead of feeding into those negative thoughts and closing off, talk about your feelings with other people (don’t vent on social media, it’ll do more harm than good!). Create a mantra for yourself, something like, “you will move on” or “you are amazing and will find someone equally as amazing”. Create new goals to achieve and focus on making your dreams that you put on the back burner a reality. Take care of not only your mental health, but also your physical self by eating right and getting enough sleep. Think positive thoughts about yourself and about the situation.
This one is really hard and will take some time, but eventually, try to be happy for your ex. If you were in their shoes, you would want them to be happy for you and your new relationship. Don’t think about it in the sense that this new girl or guy is more or less attractive, smart, funny, etc. than you, but consider the idea that this person just might be a better fit for your ex than you. And when you move on, your new person will be a better fit than your ex, too.
As my mother would say while consoling me, a breakup isn’t a bad thing–it just means that you and this person, for whatever reason, just aren’t compatible right now (or maybe ever). Plain and simple, your ex will move on and so will you. After some time and healing, you’ll be happier than ever before, traveling the world, making a difference in the community, moving up the ranks at work, finding a new hobby, or even meeting someone new.