Self Discovery

The Things I Hope and the Things I Never Said After My Friendship Breakup

Some friendships are for a season, some for a lifetime.

Just because we aren’t friends anymore doesn’t mean that I hate you like many people assume. Far from it, actually. I hope you’re doing well and that you’re enjoying wherever life has taken you. I hope that you don’t hate me either, even though I might not be in your top 10 favorite people anymore. We had a friendship breakup. No one ever talks about those. I have always wanted you to be happy, I still do.

People ask me how you are or what happened between us, and more often then not I don’t really know what to say. We grew apart, maybe because we started to have different interests. Or maybe we just grew up and realized that this wasn’t a friendship that was supposed to last a lifetime, even if we were convinced when we were 16 that we would grow old together laughing at everything and nothing.

We just grew up, and realized that this wasn’t a friendship that was supposed to last a lifetime.

I hope you find someone that you can do that with.  Someone that you can build a relationship with that will last your whole lives, a real best friend forever. I hope that you find someone to laugh with at things that aren’t funny. I hope that this person teases plenty and gets your back up just the right amount to keep you in line. I also hope she understands your crazy sense of humor enough to realize that you’re not really being mean: you’re just incredibly sassy, one of the many things we had in common.

I hope that all your dreams come true and that you get your perfect job, and perfect house and perfect family. You’ll find a perfect friend that will be there through all of it with you, even though it’s not me.

I hope that when our song comes on the radio that you think back to all the times we tried (ironically, of course) to hit the high note at the end and smile. I hope when you get coffee in that little shop downtown you laugh at all the hilarious stories we told at the table in the corner. I hope you think back to all the wonderful times we had, all the crazy adventures we went on, and all the ridiculous selfies we took.

It makes me happy to think of everything we went through together, even if it wasn’t all good, because you are part of the reason I am who I am today. I hope you have no regrets about any of it, because I don’t.

I want all of these things for you because all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. I like hearing things about how you’re doing from our mutual friends. It’s good to hear that you’re doing well and growing into the rockstar of a person I always knew you would be, even when you didn’t see it in yourself.

Growing up is tough, for a lot of reasons. When you’re young you think that your BFF is going to be in your life every single day until the literal end of time. Then one day you wake up and realize that’s not true. It’s hard, whether it’s a conscious decision or you slowly grow apart, you look around one day and realize that person isn’t there anymore.  Whatever relationships we might stumble upon, whether temporary or permanent, they’ll teach us so much and help us grow to be happier than we ever could’ve imagined. That’s all I ever wanted for you.

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Caroline is a Sophomore English Major who loves swimming, horseback...