It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s a fact: goal achievement takes time. With tech wizards and makeup moguls (yes, you Kylie Jenner) becoming billionaires from creating and selling successful products and services and brands, it’s no wonder why the modern day millennial feels pressured to be just like the other ultra successful millennials. What’s the rush to be successful so early in life? Who are we trying to prove we’re successful to?
In one of my favorite videos, Gary Vaynerchuk offers some important life advice to a fresh out of college 22 year old, Taylor, who wants to start a business and feels pressured to build something great right now as a young woman. Vaynerchuk says:
Every second you spend thinking about what somebody else has, is taking away from time that you could create something for yourself.
It truly takes time to be successful and achieve our goals, and we need realize this. Those people we see on social media with their thousands of followers and thousands of pictures with nice clothes and cars and such, they worked, in some way, to achieve that goal of having that car or that presence; they worked to become the person they wanted to be. When you spend time dwelling on their success and wishing you were in the same place, you’re wasting time and energy that could be focused on achieving your personal goals.
Goals need to be personalized to what we hope to achieve. Maybe you define success differently than your friend or cousin or whoever else. I know people who define success as having a lot of money, so their goals are focused on finding the best way to make money. I know people who define success as being loved and respected by peers, so their goals are focused on finding the best way to become a good and fair leader. The list goes on. You need to choose how you define success and set your goals to match.
Achieving a goal feels good; it lets us know that we’ve done something to feel proud of. But we seem to set little, easy to achieve short term goals instead of more difficult long term ones. We always try to dabble in a few different things to see what works instead of putting our heart and soul into one thing (because putting all our eggs in one basket is scary). In a recent interview, Chelsea Handler spoke about how she’s taking time to focus on doing two or three things really well instead of eight things in a mediocre way. Taking the time to slow down and focus on what’s important to us instead of trying to do everything everywhere allows us to feel much more accomplished when we do achieve a goal.
We need to stop comparing our success to our friend or neighbor’s success. We need personalize our goals to match how we define success. We need to take the time to put all our effort and energy into being really great at a couple things instead of being mediocre in several things. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, and while we want to sprint to achieve our goals as soon as possible, we need to learn to enjoy and respect the process.