For those of us on the quieter side of life, nothing compares to the sting of a second introduction. You remember everything about other people and yet they sometimes even forget you’re there. Don’t fret, you’re not alone.
From teachers forgetting you’re in their class, to people you thought of as friends not recalling ever have met you, the mutable life isn’t painless.
Technically the idea of a mutable personality comes from astrology, however I believe that it really can effect anyone. It especially has the propensity to plague those of us more on the introverted side of things.
The mutable signs include gemini, virgo, sagittarius and pisces. These signs trademark is their ability to shape-shift into whatever or whoever their current situation calls for.We put so much energy into knowing and fostering the qualities of the people around us, that we mold ourselves into an easily forgotten accessory to someone else’s centerpiece. But that discredits all that we are and can be.
While doing your best to help others is admirable, you mustn’t lose yourself in the process. Unfortunately, this is what I feel many mutable individuals do, despite their desire to standout as themselves.
No One Really Wants to “Fit In,” We Just Fear Rejection
Fitting in can be synonymous with being forgotten. No one wants that. Time and time again I’ve had to reintroduce myself to people, had my input go unnoticed and unheard, or my presence has been completely forgotten. I just accepted this as my reality until a recent breaking point. Nothing major happened I just grew so tired of this endless fascination I had with other people and their, at best, complacency toward me.
Per usual, I sat and wrote about this recurring situation. Then I realized that it was not the fault of other people for not remembering me when I did everything in my power to blend in. Why would you remember someone who’s every action is to maintain invisibility?
My enthrallment with other individuals simultaneously created a deep fear within me of their rejection. In turn, this concern furthered my chameleon phenomenon.
Overcoming this fear required a focus on two things: 1. recognizing my capacity to be just as enchanting to others as they are to me and 2. being forgotten hurts a hell of a lot more than being rejected.
The Stand Out Factor
Standing out sounds like a big to-do, some carefully orchestrated performance for others’ admiration. However, standing out is effortless.A steadfast dedication to being your authentic self is the “stand out factor” which we all, or at least I, tirelessly seek. The frustrating simplicity doesn’t yet doesn’t express the difficulty of such an endeavor.
Collectively we admire those who “live their truth,” and yet we do everything along the way to prevent them from doing so. We condemn unoriginality but criticize individuality.
In order to fully embrace our own stand out factors we must carefully re-evaluate our behaviors. You know your true desires; what you want to say, be, and do. Chase them.
Sympathize and Rise
One of my most powerful realizations yet is that the companionship I crave is most easily found through acting in accordance to my true self.
I urge you to check in with yourself in social situations. Do you find you may act in accordance with what others want of you rather than what you want? Are you resentful of people forgetting you but do everything in your power to blend in with them?
You deserve to let yourself shine. Don’t abandon your beautiful desire to love and help others but know that doesn’t mean you need to diminish yourself in any way.
Fully pursue a lifelong dedication to being you and everything else will fall into place.
Cover image via Animal Adda
Also published on Medium.