I’ve always worried about my future. Perhaps too much. I’m not always present in the moment opting to instead figure out how to get to my ending point in the pretty distant future. This has seemingly increased since graduating college and I hope I’m not alone when I say I have no idea how to get the life I want.
Once I finally, consciously acknowledged I wanted to be a writer I thought that was it. But it was just the beginning. The life of a writer is extremely volatile with no concrete pathway to achieving it. Which, in many cases, is amazing because it gives me a chance to mold exactly what I want. But in a world where I see people my age starting a business, their dream jobs, and families, I can’t help but feel I am completely behind everyone else.
To try and keep my sanity and the sanity of those around me, I’ve tried to find ways to shift my focus with little daily reminders that will help me feel positive, motivated and not burnt out. I hope they help calm down your overactive mind as well. Here are little reminders to tell yourself when you feel like you don’t have the life you want but will help you work towards getting it.
Focus on now because we can’t get where we want to be if we’re not present this very moment and absorbing what’s around us. This has been hard for me to do but I’m getting there slowly. I’ve accepted that spending time with family and friends, seeking out inspiration in the form of books, TV, movies and Instagram posts is necessary for me to craft my own stories. I’ve finally acknowledged that I want to write a book, or more, so right now I’m attempting to outline my ideas. Being present right now instead of dwelling on your future helps you get the most out of your life. You don’t want to be in your 50s regretting not enjoying the ride that is your 20s.
Focus on how you can better your life right now.
Whether that’s setting goals over a fixed period of time or bouncing your ideas off of people you know. Your late teens and mid-twenties are for brainstorming and the more advice you can get will just help you hatch a plan. It’ll also help you stay in the moment and get a strong group of people around you to help with what you do.
The life you’ll dream for yourself will change many times over. But that’s personal growth. When I was 15 years old, I was dead set on working in fashion. In what way, I had no idea but I knew that was where I belonged. I wanted the glitz and the glam I believed this lifestyle provided. But as I got older and after many failed sewing attempts, I knew that wasn’t for me.
Once I set my eyes on writing, I knew I wanted a life of inspiration filled with my truest friends and adventures galore. The wanderlust in my veins is real which is probably why I don’t know where I want to live once I’m a real adult. Accept that what you want to do will change and that vision you’ve had of your life will change too. That doesn’t mean you are less successful than someone else who may know exactly what they want and are actively taking steps to achieve it.
Progress is not linear. We are all going to move at a pace comfortable to us.
It’s okay to take time to hibernate and recharge. If you’re constantly creating something or working on your next business venture, you’re bound to hit a wall. For me, that wall is writers block. The only way to get around this is to remove yourself from the situation and come back with a fresh mind. Sometimes that means taking a few days or weeks off. Taking this time is okay, as long as you come back ready to grind.
Remember it’s all about mindset. Until you’re ready to put in the work, you won’t get anywhere. Appreciate yourself and your craft. It’ll get you places when it’s your time. This reminder is probably the one that keeps me the most grounded. If you put in the work you will get rewarded. Don’t force anything. I can’t tell you how many blogs I abandoned because I wasn’t in love or appreciating what I was doing. Now I’m taking it slow, feeling it out, and finding my lane.
It’s tempting to want to jump from college life to adult life the instant you graduate. That is after all how it worked for generations before us. But we’re in a different ball field now. If you can adjust your mindset, you’ll get the life you want. It’ll just take time.
Cover image via ScoopWhoop
Also published on Medium.